Divine Calm

www.divinecalm.com

2006-02-28T01:03:00.000-05:00

I am happy to report that I have transferred this blog over to www.divinecalm.com.

Please click here to head on over and don't forget to update your links with my new information.

I look forward to seeing you over at my new digs.

Mondays: why bother?

2006-02-26T20:22:00.000-05:00

Some Divine Lovin'

2006-02-26T14:02:00.000-05:00

I'm totally lovin' the following sites, and I highly recommend you check'em out!

1.) Dima, this girl is, seriously, such a cutie! Plus her smarts equal her quirkiness. In my book, you can never have too much of either trait. (She's on the right.)

2.) The photoblog, Out in the World, is totally beautifying my world with his gorgeous and compelling photos of places like Brazil, Taiwan, and Myanmar. His portraits move me to no end (and no, I didn't take this photo, titled "Chubbiness." He did.):

3.) The blog, Poetic Justice, motivates me to learn more about the written word. I hope you find her captivating prose as inspiring and challenging as I do.

I had been a language freak for long before the words became out in writing. Inventing expressions, feeling the otherness, trying to find that me in that language. Then in other languages. And I do find. But it stings. Some of it. The otherness, when it's not entirely me there, but some polyphonic figure speaking through. The writing of others sometimes does. When it does not, bliss and blessing.

4.) Wave of Modulation is my kind of blog. Awe-inspiring photography coupled with equally captivating words fill me with peace and the need to grab my camera and EXPERIMENT. Check out her recent frame-worthy photo titled "morning light":

5.) And, last but not least, I'm totally digging my tenant, Taste the World. Her recent tribute to her grandfather moved me and made me smile. Also, her favorite links of the moment made me sign up for 3 classes at Barnes & Noble's Online Classes. As if I didn't already have enough to do right now. See, that's how good of a writer she is. She merely suggested. I complied. Good thing she hasn't suggested I give her money.

Isn't she a cutie? So please visit my powerfully persuasive tenant under the "About Me" section on the left.

my lil' angel

2006-02-25T23:49:00.000-05:00

my lil' angel, originally uploaded by Divine Calm.

Taste the World!!!

2006-02-23T23:45:00.000-05:00

I've been a very, very bad host/landlord. Pretty please--with sugar on top--visit my tenant "Taste the World."

I really like her blog design, and she's very funny. Check out this adorable pic she placed on her blog too. I'm such a sucker for dogs.

So please click on her blog located under the "About Me" section. You won't regret it!

Better than sex

2006-02-23T23:21:00.000-05:00

Old camera:

New Camera:

Old Camera:

New Camera:

Any questions?

Trusting your instincts

2006-02-22T11:29:00.000-05:00

I'm taking a more optimistic approach toward both solicited and unsolicited opinions. For instance, while my mom might not always agree with my decisions, I'm not necessarily blowing off her advice nor am I angry at her vocal opposition. Instead, I am learning to shut the heck up and see her advice for what it really is. It's about love seasoned with fear for my well-being due to her own experiences. A couple years later, I might regret my decisions and realize that she was right all along. Or, I might be better off for trusting my gut instincts.

When striving for a goal or even for a happier life, it's beneficial to have a little feedback from the world. Knowing how much harder you have to sweat for success can propel you in a more realistic direction. Or it can paralyze you from even trying. Improving from criticism while insulating yourself from misleading, albeit well-intended, advice is critical to our evolution as adults. Additionally, recognizing which advice is offered requires both strong self-esteem and experience to know the difference.

It's especially imperative to listen to your inner voice and balance criticism while creating. For example, I have been entranced by the clothing designers on Project Runway and how they have improved their creations while attempting to retain their unique point of view. It's no easy feat to be an original and have everyone love your creation. Sometimes I feel as if a designer has to be in cohorts with the cosmic gods to predict that little something the world needs but doesn't realize it's missing. Everyone can be an original, but, alas, not everyone wants to hear or see what you have to produce. Of course there are a myriad of factors that render creative success like talent, mutated genes, drive, hard work, and dumb luck, but for the sake of my argument I'm assuming everyone reading this post has these traits.

I will return to my beginning point, trust your instincts. If you are constantly judging your own work or life through others' points of view, you are betraying your innate creativity. With the risk of sounding lame, creativity is best nourished if you protect it like a hothouse plant in winter. Shelter it, allow some light from the outside through, but you are ultimately responsible for its survival. (Well, you, a watering can and the modern invention of greenhouse heating.)

So, Mom, what do you think about all of my pontificating on creativity? See, I totally outed myself as being unable to follow my own advice. But I am trying.

Speckle Spackle

2006-02-21T21:21:00.000-05:00

Decompress

2006-02-21T19:43:00.000-05:00

My diaphragm can't unhook itself, and my lungs are lodged in my throat. I can't breathe, let alone, sigh breaths of release. Every time I leave him, it's like this for the first few days of my return. Then tears spring forth and drain upon my cheeks, sapping my energy. Finally after a week, the missing dulls down to frustration, and I frantically brainstorm ways to end this separation. The solution is always the same. Patience. That damn word. I hate it.

For you shutterbug junkies...

2006-02-20T21:52:00.000-05:00

I seem to have outgrown my camera, a Kodak EasyShare Z730. Now I want to purchase a SLR digital camera and am researching what's out there. I'm sooooo overwhelmed! I want to be able to take better macro shots (close-up shots) and nighttime photos. Do you have any suggestions as to which camera I should buy, or how I should narrow down my choices? I would like to spend under $1,000. Any help would be greatly appreciated!!!

Cardinal Rule

2006-02-20T21:40:00.000-05:00

Escalating Obstacles

2006-02-17T10:09:00.000-05:00

A black retriever service dog in training quivered at the top step of an escalator. His right front paw timidly stepped on the grooved steel and then quickly lifted as if he touched hot Florida summer sand. After dancing his quick step three more times while receiving correction from his trainer, the hesitant pup finally landed his two front paws square on the middle of the step. A little surprised to find his front end heading down to the first floor with his back end staying on the marble second floor, the dog quickly glanced at his human companion as if pleaing for rescue. With another metal step pouring out of the floor and left with no other choice, the trainee allowed the rest of his body to scuttle onto the escalator.

The trainer's praise, "You are a goooood boy, goooooooood boy," echoed throughout the atrium.

I was next to step onto the modern contraption that had given the dog such fits. As I glanced down to ensure my skinny high-heeled boots didn't fall between the escalator steps, I better appreciated the dogs' jitters. Pictures of my falling head first, with my stripped away brown leather boot stuck in the escalator step, made my face flush with anxiety, and I really yearned for the black retriever to be at my side for comfort and balance. I then began to think how scary it must be for a person who has lost her sight to ride these moving steps.

As I stepped off the escalator, I looked over to see the black retriever's next obstacle: a revolving door. With newly gained confidence from his last accomplishment, the dog wagged his tail while waiting for further instruction.

"I really hope you pass with flying colors, little buddy," I silently cheered. "Soon, your presence will represent freedom for some very lucky owner."

True Blue

2006-02-16T20:22:00.000-05:00

Gentle

2006-02-15T23:54:00.000-05:00

Looking Beyond Your Nose

2006-02-15T10:16:00.000-05:00

Lately, I feel as if the world has opened up for my exploring, but not necessarily for my taking. Don't get me wrong, my naivete isn't leading me to think that "the world is my oyster," rather, I am allowing myself to view life in ways I haven't imagined it. And, gulp, I've begun to believe I might have an overall happy life (mixed with the occasional heartache of course).

Until recently, I have been recovering from a difficult childhood and my subsequent reactions to it. I have struggled to put myself through school only to find my chosen career after college renders frustration and disillusionment. Thankfully, I've realized this at the age of 27 and am willing to make a change instead of barging down a path guaranteed to end in regret.

For the last three years, my brain has been parched for an unknown drink. I have yearned for mental stimulation and surfed the web, read novels, and participated in book clubs hoping to find something satisfying. I have salsa danced, watched movies, drank fancy mojito cocktails, and listened to jazz bands. For hours, I have read information regarding the psychology of the criminal mind, potential graduate programs, and websites geared toward career placement help. I have even distracted my thirst while hanging out in large groups of friends until the wee hours of the morning. Unfortunately, the friendly chatter only reinforced my need to figure out what I was missing in life.

I was missing creativity, the act of creating.

For a long time, I've been belittling my talent by thinking I was better suited to be an audience member instead of a creator. So far, my career focus has been to make enough money to support myself while helping others and, in turn, living comfortably. With maturity, I realize I can still have a well-paying job while fostering creative growth on the side. Who knows? Perhaps I will be able to incorporate the two. I'm not trying to portray myself as the next Da Vinci or Faulkner, but how will I know my capabilities without stretching myself beyond my comfortable stasis?

I have been anxiety-ridden for almost all of my life, and I am beginning to realize this denial of my innate creativity has been fueling my palpitations. As the cliche goes, there's just something that's dying to get out. Ha! Nevermind the fact that I don't know the exact details for how to allow that something out.

So I don't have a crystallized plan, but I am delving into new ways to express myself. And, dammit, it's a relief. Some of my more frequent readers might be wondering if I made the decision to attend law school, and the answer is a resounding no. I'm not a detail person, but more importantly, it's just not for me. I could do it and be good at it, but my gut feeling is that I would not be as good at it as I would be doing something else. You might say that "being good" shouldn't be the main driver for my career choice, but my ego demands it and I'm no longer going to suppress it.

In the short term, I am reaffirming my love for the written word (otherwise known as "reading and writing like crazy") and am critically analyzing how writers write. I am also planning on taking a graduate communications/marketing/writing course and a photography class once I move to Chicago. Lastly, I have a few other things in the works, which I rather not discuss here. I'm in an exploring mode and want to travel and better understand how people different from myself live.

Perhaps all of my musings sound rather grandiose and ridiculous. But I don't care, because I am excited for the first time in a long time. Finally, I see possibilities instead of dead-ends.

Technorati:writing, creativity, reading, self-exploration, career, classes, law, school

Any Room Left for Me?

2006-02-14T23:15:00.001-05:00

It's not just a Hallmark holiday

2006-02-14T15:08:00.000-05:00

Even when single, I don't dread Valentine's Day. I can thank my mom for instilling in me that the day is a celebration of love for the special people in our lives. My childhood Valentine's Days consisted of playing with my new paper dolls near my mom as she sewed in her bedroom or my drinking milk out of a heart glass with homemade frosted heart-shaped sugar cookies for breakfast. On Valentine's Day, I would bathe in my mom's hugs, kisses and tiny gifts, which reminded me that she loved me in an all-consuming way that only mothers can love.

One Valentine's Day in my early twenties, I had just experienced a break-up with a boyfriend, and my mother and stepfather visited me with a new dining table and four chairs in tow. The table set was to replace the one that I had been borrowing from my boyfriend. I was a mess due to the break-up and other events at the time, and my mom knew that I needed some extra TLC from my family.

Looking back on my previous Valentine's Days, I am so grateful my mom tried so hard to show me that Valentine's Day isn't just about flowers, chocolates, and your significant other. It's about the little things like homemade cookies, and paper dolls. It's about the big things like being there for your loved one when they need you most. It's about celebrating that even if you are single, you aren't alone. And, it's especially about saying the most eagerly desired words "I love you."

Technorati:Valentine's, love, mothers, family

Happy Valentine's Day

2006-02-13T20:54:00.000-05:00

A lil' leg for my Valentine

East Fifth

2006-02-12T17:06:00.000-05:00

Teenage Suicide

2006-02-12T16:13:00.000-05:00

This weekend I watched a video about teenage suicide with my mother for her continuing education course. The video portrayed a rather simplistic overview of this issue and left me terribly unsatisfied with its message.

The video began with a discussion about how teenagers with bipolar disease, depression, and eating disorders are more likely to attempt suicide. Yes, this wasn't a surprise to me. Then the video portrayed how horrific suicide is to the remaining loved ones. To me, this seemed like an obvious point to make. Lastly, the movie pointed out that all teenagers are at risk and that often those comtemplating suicide hide their thoughts from those around them.

Since I have never attempted suicide and am not a parent, could somebody educate me and those reading this post on the subject of teenage suicide. Are there any visible signs depicting whether a teen is suicidal? Are parents living in denial that their children are at risk? Or are there really no warning signs? Also, what can we, as a society, do about this?

Technorati:suicide, teenagers, bipolar, depression, eating, disorders

Objects May Appear Closer...Part 1

2006-02-09T23:43:00.000-05:00

Divine Consumption

2006-02-09T18:59:00.000-05:00

WARNING! Please avert your eyes if you can't handle sickening sweetness

I'm craving spiced cupcakes, specifically, my mom's homemade confections. These moist delights are topped with fluffy cream cheese frosting set in delicate peaks, which dissolve into ooey gooeyness in my mouth.

Lucky for me, I am heading home to visit my parents tomorrow night, and my mom has a couple of her special spice cupcakes waiting for me.

Nothing like sugar spun with your mom's love to cleanse your troubles away.

Technorati:cupcakes, sugar, icing

2006-02-09T00:11:00.000-05:00

taking stock

The Taker

2006-02-08T13:22:00.000-05:00

Although we shared our souls, laughter, and tears, I now question your sincerity. Were you only there for me, so I would be there for you? It seems as if now that I am happy, you have difficulty in supporting me. Is it because you can't relate to me? Is my contentment not a worthy companion to your internal misery?

Or did I just outgrow you? Or to be more fair, did we just outgrow each other?

So many unanswered questions, but I am at peace with them. Instead, I have chosen to passively extradite myself from the relationship. No need for a blow-up to end what has already imploded.

Next time you need me, you know I will be as supportive as I can. That's why you still call. However, my heart is no longer connected to my advice, and if hurting, my heart will not lead me back to you.

P.S. This is not about any of my friends, rather it's about another person's situation.

Technorati: friendship, endings

2006-02-07T23:33:00.000-05:00

Winter driving